Full Hands

We'd been in the car for something like 27 seconds. I did a quick check in my rear view mirror and noticed that Ann and Chris were both asleep. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

It has been one of those days. I do my best to focus on the moments that keep my heart full--at least when I write. However, I'd be lying if I said that there aren't plenty of moments that keep my hands more than full. Sometimes I want to tell those people who see me with my kiddos and tell me that my hands are full that "they don't even know the half of it."

But, here's the thing. Any time my mind turns to the hands full part of my life, I feel guilty. My kids are healthy, my husband is helpful and hot. Really, why is it that as men age they look better? But, I didn't set out to embarrass my husband with this post, so I'll move on.

The guilt adds to my already overwhelmed feeling and I spin into a vicious cycle and become a crabby mommy.

Then, I do things like send my husband emails titled "Stinks." The message reads something like "This stinks." Only, I'm not so eloquent in my writing when I send him those oh-so-uplifting messages.

I love being home with my kiddos. I really do. I am so grateful to the Lord who has given my husband a job that supports the five of us. There is nothing I'd rather be doing. Except, of course, when I'd rather be doing anything else.

So, what is the point of this post? Well, every now and then I read the title of my blog and think, "If they only knew." Raising children is hard. Right now raising children who are 3, 2, and 5 months is exhausting. So, I guess I just want to say that some days the title of my blog should read YES, and So is My Heart. (Emphasis on the part that yes indeed my hands are full.)

That's all. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I'll be able to look at it as a heart full kind of day.

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