A favorite book of mine as a child was There's a Monster at the End of this Book. Lovable, furry old Grover from Sesame Street spends the pages of the book begging the reader not to turn the page because he is afraid of the monster at the end of the book. Of course, the delighted reader turns each page only to discover that an embarrassed Grover is in fact the monster at the end of the book. I'm sure I laughed every bit as much as my children do each time we read that story. Since the book is so special to me, I suppose it isn't surprising today that I feel a bit like Grover.
This morning, right before Ann's dentist appointment, I discovered that one of her top teeth is loose. I did the whole mom thing and shook my head in disbelief that she could be possibly losing her third tooth when she just finished teething, or so it seems.
I felt the same way last week when she discovered Silly Bandz. Now, she proudly sports a wrist full of those and other bracelets. How did my baby get in on a fad?!
I could go on and on about the things she does that make me realize that she is getting older and bigger. There is that little fact that she is soon going to full day kindergarten.
Meanwhile, I feel like Grover wanting to "block" her way. It isn't that I'm not happy for her and excited about all she has yet to discover, it's simply that like Grover, I'm a bit scared, for both of us. Until now, I've known what she is doing almost every minute of the day and that is now about to change.
So, like Grover I've wanted to keep her from turning the next "page." Of course, the pages of life must be turned. And so, the story goes on.
Yet, a week or two ago, I felt like Grover does at the end of the story...almost embarrassed. You see, as I drove along thinking about Ann going to school, I told God that I just love her so much and can't bear the thought of the world hurting her. Though I know it will and must happen, I still don't like to think about it. After I prayed those words, I heard Him whisper, "I love her more."
I couldn't help but smile and sit up a bit straighter. Though I can't understand it, I do believe it. God loves her more than I do. I know how much I love her so I know that's a whole lot. It's hard to be too frightened when I know she'll be constantly watched over by One who loves her more than I know.
I suppose it's time to switch my mindset to another favorite story from my childhood, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...." I think I can be confident about my sweet girl going to school. It's going to be great!